Tonight I had to do something that was very painful, but I felt within my heart that there was no other choice, and that it was the best thing to do. Around 9:30 I heard a commotion outside what sounded like a dog attacking something. We have a lot of strays in our area and they like to come up in the yard and mess with our animals, and sometimes even chase my kids. So I stepped out on the porch to see Blackie, Piper, and a very large black dog, that was jumping around and barking while the other two stood aside. Immediately I knew it was attacking something in my yard.
So I stepped back in and grabbed a light and my pellet gun to chase the dog off. It ran off before I shot. I fired toward the woods behind my house anyway to give the dog a scare. Piper ran, and Blackie lay down. I feared something was wrong with her, so I went to her calling her name and talking to her the whole way. As I got nearer, I noticed something laying in the grass a few feet away.
As I got closer, Blackie seemed very nervous and kept looking at me, then looking away. I've seen it before in scared animals that are trying to be protective. The something laying in the grass was a cat. Breathing heavily, and as I slowly got closer, I noticed it's tongue hanging out, teeth missing and it's mouth bleeding, a few teeth bent at odd angles, and it's eyes dilated. I went to get Joan because I thought it was one of our cats and wanted to see what she felt we should do, even though deep in my heart I knew there was no chance this poor cat would live and should be put out of it's misery. His body was pretty ragged and mangled in places, a couple of nasty gashes in it's back area towards it's lower spine and haunches.
Joan knew the cat would not live either, and so I told her I'd go get my gun and warn Jennifer to keep the kids busy. I also called the Sheriff Department to let them know what I was going to do in case someone called in shots fired in our neighborhood. The officer told me they could not advise me to do that, and I told him I wasn't asking him for advice, I was letting him know in case there was a call.
I walked back over to the cat, who was breathing worse now, and looking like it had broken ribs on top of all the other agony. I asked Joan to move Blackie away, in which Blackie was now trying to get close to me and walking around the cat. Joan led Blackie away and her look told me that she knew what was happening. The cat looked up at me for a brief moment and tried to make some sort of noise and it was all I could do to do this... As I cocked my pistol I prayed to God for forgiveness and to make the shot quick and as painless as possible for this suffering soul, and fired one shot.
Almost instantly the cat stopped it's labored breathing, and I said yet another prayer asking for the Lord's forgiveness.
For those that know me, I am a very fond cat lover, and have had some amazing cats as pets over my 33 years of life. One living to be a month shy of 21 years old...this tore me up to have to do this, but I don't feel I had any other choice. The nearest emergency animal clinic was on the other side of town, and I don't feel the cat would have lasted that long; nor do I have the money to rescue the poor cat.
After disposal of the cat, me and Joan sat there and talked for quite a while, and I feel she's with me that there really wasn't much more choice. Am I wrong for what I did? I don't know. Will the Lord forgive me for what I did? I hope so. I feel I've shown mercy for an animal, one of God's creations that didn't have much choice in it's life. It was a feral cat, so it was brought in to this world with no choice, it wasn't cared for and it roamed of it's own accord. Whatever happened that caused the dog to attack it, I know not. But I feel within my heart the cat has gone to a much better place.
Judge me as you will, but I felt I had to write this out to ease my own pain. As an animal lover, and especially partial to cats, it pains me even more that I had to be the one to find it, but at least my children were spared the gruesome reality of what would have been found in the morning, and I know it would have torn my son to pieces.
Lord, thank you for giving us the heart to deal with every day situations of crisis, the courage to stand by our actions, and the mind for thinking of what should be done. Forgive us our sins that we should commit out of kindness and mercy and what we feel is right, and accept our mistakes as we are not perfect. Keep us safe from harm that one may not have to take mercy upon us in the same way, so that they may not have a trouble soul of grief and guilt.
Amen.
