Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Oh Lord, Forgive us our sins of what we feel is best in our heart but may not be right in your eyes...

Tonight I had to do something that was very painful, but I felt within my heart that there was no other choice, and that it was the best thing to do. Around 9:30 I heard a commotion outside what sounded like a dog attacking something. We have a lot of strays in our area and they like to come up in the yard and mess with our animals, and sometimes even chase my kids. So I stepped out on the porch to see Blackie, Piper, and a very large black dog, that was jumping around and barking while the other two stood aside. Immediately I knew it was attacking something in my yard.

So I stepped back in and grabbed a light and my pellet gun to chase the dog off. It ran off before I shot. I fired toward the woods behind my house anyway to give the dog a scare. Piper ran, and Blackie lay down. I feared something was wrong with her, so I went to her calling her name and talking to her the whole way. As I got nearer, I noticed something laying in the grass a few feet away.

As I got closer, Blackie seemed very nervous and kept looking at me, then looking away. I've seen it before in scared animals that are trying to be protective. The something laying in the grass was a cat. Breathing heavily, and as I slowly got closer, I noticed it's tongue hanging out, teeth missing and it's mouth bleeding, a few teeth bent at odd angles, and it's eyes dilated. I went to get Joan because I thought it was one of our cats and wanted to see what she felt we should do, even though deep in my heart I knew there was no chance this poor cat would live and should be put out of it's misery. His body was pretty ragged and mangled in places, a couple of nasty gashes in it's back area towards it's lower spine and haunches.

Joan knew the cat would not live either, and so I told her I'd go get my gun and warn Jennifer to keep the kids busy. I also called the Sheriff Department to let them know what I was going to do in case someone called in shots fired in our neighborhood. The officer told me they could not advise me to do that, and I told him I wasn't asking him for advice, I was letting him know in case there was a call.

I walked back over to the cat, who was breathing worse now, and looking like it had broken ribs on top of all the other agony. I asked Joan to move Blackie away, in which Blackie was now trying to get close to me and walking around the cat. Joan led Blackie away and her look told me that she knew what was happening. The cat looked up at me for a brief moment and tried to make some sort of noise and it was all I could do to do this... As I cocked my pistol I prayed to God for forgiveness and to make the shot quick and as painless as possible for this suffering soul, and fired one shot.

Almost instantly the cat stopped it's labored breathing, and I said yet another prayer asking for the Lord's forgiveness.
For those that know me, I am a very fond cat lover, and have had some amazing cats as pets over my 33 years of life. One living to be a month shy of 21 years old...this tore me up to have to do this, but I don't feel I had any other choice. The nearest emergency animal clinic was on the other side of town, and I don't feel the cat would have lasted that long; nor do I have the money to rescue the poor cat.

After disposal of the cat, me and Joan sat there and talked for quite a while, and I feel she's with me that there really wasn't much more choice. Am I wrong for what I did? I don't know. Will the Lord forgive me for what I did? I hope so. I feel I've shown mercy for an animal, one of God's creations that didn't have much choice in it's life. It was a feral cat, so it was brought in to this world with no choice, it wasn't cared for and it roamed of it's own accord. Whatever happened that caused the dog to attack it, I know not. But I feel within my heart the cat has gone to a much better place.

Judge me as you will, but I felt I had to write this out to ease my own pain. As an animal lover, and especially partial to cats, it pains me even more that I had to be the one to find it, but at least my children were spared the gruesome reality of what would have been found in the morning, and I know it would have torn my son to pieces.

Lord, thank you for giving us the heart to deal with every day situations of crisis, the courage to stand by our actions, and the mind for thinking of what should be done. Forgive us our sins that we should commit out of kindness and mercy and what we feel is right, and accept our mistakes as we are not perfect. Keep us safe from harm that one may not have to take mercy upon us in the same way, so that they may not have a trouble soul of grief and guilt.

Amen.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Sea Foam Green Lava is Never Good...

Interesting title. I could start this story out with so many ways...for instance I could take the old SCA approach of "No sh*t, there I was!". Or I could start out with Once upon a time, but that would put the reader in to a fantasy thought, and this is definitely no fantasy. I could even go with "well, we'd been drinking"...because it's almost fitting, except for I wasn't drinking when it happened...thank goodness for that one. So, how bout a small amount of back story leading up to this interesting event of terror...

Well, Monday started out as a really good day. Took wifey's car to get the oil changed, and then got to hang out with my buddy Frank some on our quest for gainful employment and picking up a few caches along the way. So, took the car to the wifey at her work place and changed out for the Hammer mobile and as I was getting ready to leave, Joan and the kids came by. Long story short, got to hang out with them for a bit, and had the boy talk to Marisol, a nice young lady that works with wifey, so he could work on one of his scout awards for meeting someone from another country. Anyway, came home and got ready for scouts. Most of the day, wifey was having problems with being able to breathe; this time of year with it's so pretty out, and the evil pollen spans are flying rampant, it messes her up pretty roughly.

So last night we came home from scouts and wifey was in even a worse mood, still breathing troubles, headache, and general grouchiness, causing her to snap at me and maybe she didn't realize it, but it hurt my feelings a bit and even made me want to retire early. I didn't sleep too well, way too much on my mind. Not sure when she came to bed, but she didn't sleep very much at all due to headache and sinuses, etc.

So, this morning, I arose ( I won't say I awoke because for one to awake, I think they must be able to truly say they were asleep first, and I don't think either of us did that...), with some thought to try and help wifey out in some way knowing she has to work today and still having her lack of breathing problems.

So I thought maybe if I get a nice pot of hot boiling water for her to inhale the steam from. And then I remembered I had one of the Shower Soother tabs left...(for those who know not what a "shower soother" is, check out the link... http://www.strangenewproducts.com/2005/10/sudacare-shower-soothers-vaporizing.html )
With a new plan forming, I put on the pot of water and brought it to a boil. I found the Shower Soother tab of impending Doom (I say impending because I had no idea what I was about to unleash...)
The water is getting to a good boil, the steam is rising perfectly, just as I wanted it to. So I pull the package open, and drop the soother tablet in to it. Instantly as the tablet hits the water it starts bubbling madly! The foaming water rises to the top of the pot and starts bubbling over...my reflexes spring in to action! I jump over and lift the pot off the heating eye on the stove, so now I'm holding a boiling pot of Sea Foam green lava...trying to figure out what I'm going to do, and I have no idea...

I turn the stove eye off and hold the pot of death over the sink and hope that the foam will die down eventually...who knew that the shower soothers were like Alka Seltzers?? Not I said the perplexed man...so anyway, it finally dies down and I turn to take the pot in to the bedroom for wifey to inhale the fumes. The few steps it takes me my eyes start watering, my sinuses clear, and I almost start coughing. That's good stuff man!!

So finally after getting it in to the bedroom and setting it on the floor on a burn proof board for wifey to inhale the fumes I let he know about it and go back in to clean up the mess...
Afterwards I go back in and check on her, she says it helps some. 20 minutes later, she sounds like she's actually sleeping peacefully...So, with a few moments of terror from being engulfed with Seam Foam lava with a very strong hint of menthol and eucalyptus it turns out it was worth it...

Score one for experimenting! Guess next time I'll have to get my PPE and safety suit out...hmm, what to blow up next...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The fairness of Life...

Today has been somewhat of a gloomy day overall for me. I had some ups, but mostly downs...the radio at work kept talking about the disaster in Haiti...and a buddy of mine asks me "how come only the poor people get hit by disasters? Ever hear of some rich dude getting his house wasted in a tornado?"

And I thought on this...and he had a point. You never hear of some celebrity out in California losing his house to a mudslide or an earthquake... you never hear of some rich person out this way having his house destroyed by a tornado. Yet, the people that struggle the most...the people that can't afford the nice luxury houses...they seem to be all over the place. My first thought was "well, that's how the media likes to portray it"...you know, get Jobob and his wife Bertha on there talking about how that tornado done tore up the trailer park...makes it look worse than it is sometimes...

So then I hear a report that Obama is on the air and talking about sending relief to Haiti to help out and it's very hard to do so because they've lost communication, the earthquake tore up the airport, and it's complicating matters. So Obama has authorized for The Navy to step in with some ships to get down there, as well as authorized 100 million dollars to be used to medical supplies, food, shelter, etc, and that's just the beginning. It made me angry.
We have people here living in the streets because they've lost their jobs, their homes, and now they're feeding themselves and families off scraps they dig out of the garbage...yet nothing is happening here. Do other countries come to our aid in time of need? Not that I'm aware of.

I don't like Obama too much, but I will respect and admire him for reaching out to other countries in time of need like this. But we should really work on fixing America before we fix other people...but I digress...

Back to my original thought. Disasters affecting the ones in crisis already...why is this? Why does it seem Mother Nature is picking on the poor and the weak? Where is the fairness of life? All of these people pray and pray and pray, and disaster after disaster tear them down. Yet, they keep their faith in God. Is that fair?

As I read a page with stories from people down in Haiti who are helping in the relief and recounting the things they hear and see, I read a story of this woman who was in hysteria because her son was dead in the rubble when rescue workers pulled the boy out...but she still held faith because her other son was trapped but alive...they finally freed the lad, and as they were trying to give him water, and clean him up, he died. The mother finally broke...crying and yelling "God I can't take this anymore, God I can't take this..."
I also read of a story of a house collapsing on a family, and they found a boy alive in it, his right leg broken in 2 places, his left tore up pretty bad too. The father was rescused, but his wife and all of his other children, and some friends that were there too were dead...he was thankful that at least his one son survived...then the doctor who was writing the story had to bear the news that the boy was going to have to have his leg amputated if he wanted to live...

Again I ask, where is the fairness of life? All of these people were already suffering, then this happens.

Just before I wrote this, it finally clicked. I may not be the most religious person, but I do believe in God, and my faith will not waiver. As I sat there in tears genuflecting on the stories, it came to me. The fairness is God felt that all of those people had suffered enough, and has called them home. They will suffer no longer. The fairness is in the President of the United States, although I may not like him, is putting forth an effort in giving those survivors a chance anew, in that pretty much the entire area is going to have to be rebuilt, and our men and women of the United States are there to help. Granted they have lost so much, but at least someone will be there to help pick them up, dust them off, and help them continue living.

I'm sitting here writing this, looking across at my wife, who is now in tears because she has discovered that a friend of hers from college, whom she's recentely been keeping tabs on was doing okay, and then today, Jennifer discovered that she passed away. Just sudden. We have no idea how it happened, just that one minute everything was fine and the next, her husband is writing a message about her passing. Now it's the husband and two children, left to find their way in the world without their mother.

2010 isn't starting out very great for people all across this nation. That's where we have to pull together, and make the best of what we can. I don't forsee anything getting any easier as life progresses forward, so we have got to do what we can to force it to be better.

Be strong, call on your friends and family. The next time someone pops in to your mind that you haven't spoken with or heard from in ages, try giving them a call, or sending them a message. You never know when you're going to be sitting there thinking "I wish I could have talked to him/her" before they died...

Until Next time...
Stay safe, live peaceful, be happy.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

So, the first trial of the year...

Well, here it is day 2 of 2010. And As I went down to steal ham from my mother in law she was in the middle of an unhappy rant. Fortunately, not about me. She's really cool about that. She loves me very much and I'm happy to say that I've got a good mother in law that likes me instead of the stereotypical hate relationship between husband and mother in law.

Anyway, she has done something most admirable in taking in a friend of mine and his three children. He is married, but the wife has decided that since she's back in the military that she wants her freedom. Sometimes it happens, but now it's including abandoning her 3 children, and not doing what she's supposed to do to take care of them. This has made it hard on the house here because she's not sending money like she's supposed to in order to support her children. The father, although a good guy for the most part is a bit irresponsible himself, and it has come to the point that I feel he is using my family whether he realizes it or not. This doesn't count the fact that Jennifer is homeschooling his daughter, Joan takes care of his kids when he's not making them nap or while he's on the computer...and does he thank them? Has he offered any compensation for babysitting? No...he could at least make an offer of compensation to Jennifer for teaching his daughter. Instead he complains that she may not be doing it right because his daughter is a special needs girl and has mental problems. The only problem is she's ADHD and she craves attention...

He's been living here since October, and has finally paid a grand total of 200 dollars for rent, and only in the past 2 weeks. 100 bucks per paycheck from his job at Winn Dixie. Supposedly, his wife is to be sending 1000 a month split in 2 checks as she gets paid, which is not enough. But, she must make sure she has enough money to care for herself in buying a new car, a new laptop, a new GPS, various piercings, etc. Because you know, you've gotta have your priorities. She lives on base, so she gets military support. So my questions is, why does she not care for her children?

Also, on this end, my question is, where the hell is there rest of the money going that he should be paying for rent, buying food for his kids, etc...

Joan is very unhappy with the situation as of late because he's piling his stuff up everywhere. She can't get out her front door on to the front porch (which she doesn't use that door a lot, but it's the principle of the matter) because his stuff if piled around the door...the room he sleeps in he's used thumbtacks to put up blankets around the window to make it darker; and this comes after he had her buy new curtains or blinds for the rooms...but now there's holes all in the wall.

On top of that, he's told her the living situation may extended until March. I don't think she can put up with it that much longer, and it is impeding on her plans as well for this year...

Throw this on top of she spent right at a thousand bucks this last month for food alone...and she's the only person in her household. No way she should be eating a grand a month in food...again I ask...where the hell is his money going?

I've tried to talk to him about it, just talk. Not yell or cuss at him or beat the hell out of him, but he avoids me. I don't want to have to resort to the other methods...

Funny how well you get to know "a friend" when they live with you...seems he may not be the friend or responsible father I thought he was.

(Coming soon, a rant on my other brother in law. Even more fun for the mother in law...)

So yeah, trials and tribulations have already begun this year. Now it's time to figure out how to solve it, and get past it. I just hope I can do it peacefully and diplomatically. I hate to lose a friend, but if he can't understand then maybe he's not the friend he should be.

Until next time,

Hammer

Friday, January 1, 2010

Start of a new year, new decade...

Well, here we are. 2010. Day 1. A monumental year, in that it's the start of a new year, a start of a new decade, the start of the second decade of the 2000th year of our Lord...

And I'm starting a blog column.

2009 was horrible. I lost friends, relatives, money, jobs, almost lost my truck, and who knows what else. There were times I thought, "just when you think it can't get any worse..." and it did.

Well, in 2010, I'm going to try to be more optimistic. More positive. I'm doing to do my best to MAKE 2010 a better year. I've already got a good start on it. I'm in a good mood, and I feel pretty good.
Oddly, part of that is from having the Wii Fit, and using it daily. I didn't use it yesterday due to some chaos and lots of stuff to do, but I'm going to try to make time daily for it.

Do what you can to make it a better year for you, and those around you. When you wake up in the mornings, think to yourself, "it's going to be a good day." Try to keep that in your mind as you start your day, and don't let anything block you from it. While driving to work, instead of cussing that moron that cut you off, just let it go. Cussing him doesn't change the fact that he cut you off, or you're now staring at his tail lights and tag. Just keep on going. Blow his mind. Smile and wave at him as you pass him.

It's the little things we do that can make the difference, but it's harder to remember to do the little things.

Anyway, I hope you can take these words and use them to help you. Encouragement. I firmly believe success starts from within, now it's time to try to make it happen.

Until next time,

Hammer